Mentoring and the Mid-Year Resolution

As part of my mid-year resolution, last year I decided to make a concerted effort to move my career and professional life along in a more positive direction. Since my company doesn't offer these sorts of career development 'perks', and being well aware that it's as much who you know as what, I decided to expand my network by actively seeking out a group of mentors.

Having solid mentoring relationships is important whether you work for yourself or for someone else, and no doubt being able to get some insight into someone else’s successful career may help in keeping sure footing on the career path.

But this begs several questions:

Who can be a mentor?
What makes a good mentor?
Should you have more than one?
Do these mentoring relationships have a lifespan?

So who can be a mentor?

Anyone you know can be a mentor: people you know, and even people you don't know... yet. Friends, colleagues, associates, parents and all of their extended networks are potential mentors. Or you can step outside of your known circle, (I'm not talking about being a stalker) and join a mentoring network to find an mentor, like I did. Finding a mentor is about asking questions - finding people who excel at what they do, what you're interested in, and reaching out to them. One of my mentors has somewhat of my dream job as a Marketing and Comms manager for a global computer company, and another is a creative director for an ad agency and has been a stylist for a popular TV show. Many people are pretty keen to pass along nuggets of wisdom from what they've learnt along the way, and are sometimes flattered to hear that you're aspiring to be like them. Mentors can be found all around.

What makes a good mentor?

Being articulate and being able to dish out criticism competently are good traits, but don't think this means your mentor will be good at delivering constructive criticism. Some mentors can be most undiplomatic. The key is that your mentor should be able to see what your strengths and attributes are, and be able to see when you're not using them to your advantage.

Another good quality is someone who can help you identify the gaps, and point you in the right direction. That's right, they can't just diagnose you as a bad communicator; remember, this is as much about self-discovery as anything else. Your mentor should be able to inspire you to feel accountable for the steps you take to make positive changes in your career, the mentor is part of your cheering section, but as a mentee, it's important for you to demonstrate your willingness to take advice to heart. If as a mentee you're not feeling like you owe it to yourself and your mentor to complete tasks and assignments, then it might be time to reevaluate that relationship.

Which leads me to whether you should have more than one mentor:

Why not, I say! Maybe the person with your dream job isn't the best public speaker, maybe the entrepreneur you idolize can't organize his life. If you're looking for direction in multiple areas of your life, why not speak to an expert in each area? There are multiple ways to overcome obstacles, and getting multiple perspectives can be really helpful.

And finally, the question of the expiration date on the mentoring relationship:

My mother always says you meet people for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. I believe this, and my mentor said to me in our very first conversation, that there's so much she can teach me, and eventually I'll outgrow her (it's all very Yoda!). I think there's some element of truth in that statement for any mentoring relationship, but the truth is, by that time, your relationship may have transitioned from mentor-mentee to more of a friendship, and perhaps you can teach each other.

Over the past few months, my experience as a mentee has been extremely valuable. I have learnt to identify things that I want, and things that I don't want out of my career. I now have some insight into breaking my goals and aspirations in to manageable steps.

Having a good group of mentors is a great way to develop rewarding professional relationships and I hope one day to help someone else on their journey.