It's funny that once someone announces their pregnancy, suddenly it's everyone's business how that little bundle of joy will enter the world. With or without drugs? At home or at the hospital? At the birth centre? Will there be a doula? Will you breastfeed? For how long?
Oh hang on, it's none of your business!
I decided from pretty early on that I was going to have my baby delivered by cesarean section. I'm pretty sure I made the decision before I was even pregnant, and certainly, once I made my way through the public healthcare system in my country, I decided that I was, in fact, too 'posh to push'.
Maybe that's not entirely true. It wasn't about poshness at all. Actually my decision had more to do with anxiety and a need for control than anything else. In my enthusiasm to learn all about the birthing experience I watched an episode (or three) of One Born Every Minute (UK). I was horrified to see women begging for pain medication and midwives telling expectant mothers to effectively 'man up' and deal with the pain. These women were asking for epidurals and other wonders of modern science, and, during their most vulnerable moments, they were told 'no'. So I got to reading about the general experience where I live, and the more I read and discussed with people, the more I saw the drugs-are-bad attitude prevalent locally.
There and then I decided I was not going to miss my chance to have an epidural because of some midwife's belief in drug-free birthing. I wasn't going to be guilted into some sort of experience that I didn't want. I couldn't take that chance. So I mitigated the risk down to zero and chose a c-section. I read, I spoke to doctors, peers and friends, and my mom. And then I made a decision that worked for me.
Don't get me wrong; I didn't specifically need to know which day or which hour my baby would arrive, so I could plan my schedule accordingly. The objective of the excercise is a healthy baby and mother. To me, mental health is a huge part of the experience.
Fortunately, I had the means and opportunity to make my decision with plenty of support, and in the end, baby came when he was good and ready (about 16 hours before his scheduled time). I had no real problems breastfeeding, no issues bonding with my son, no complications and my recovery was lightning fast compared to my expectations.
In hindsight, not having a c-section might have been fine, but I wouldn't change my experience for the world. The most interesting part: once the baby arrives, no one gives a crap about how he got here, or how he's eating.